Those days are gone.

‎When you had to stress over business plans.
Or hire job search experts to write your CV…

‎so your mean uncle can pass it to a friend,

who knows a friend,
who knows another friend,
who is a friend to a CEO 😩

‎Oops! Not anymore.

‎These days, your uncle can stay with his connections.

Because, forget about connection,
Somehow, you don’t even need sense. Just nonsense.

And boom 💰 — money rains.

‎Let me show you how people cash out from doing absolutely ‘useless’ things:

‎Here 👇🏾 we go

‎1️⃣ Dance + Caption = Dollars 💃🏾🕺🏾

‎Instead of hours in cyber editing a cv, just shake your waist small.

‎Then write something like “Wimean cheat” in the caption. Add emojis.

‎Boom—3M views.

Sounds like “Dance and grow rich.”

‎2️⃣ “Professional” “Watcher” 👀📺

‎‎These ones don’t even talk. They just sit there watching another video.

Yeah. Figure it out;

Recording yourself watching a 1min clip is creativity.

And to make more dollars, simply force some laughters out of your lungs 😁😁

‎Then there is the likes of me and you ☹️ who’re out here analyzing policies,

but someone’s entire job is nodding 🙆‍♂️

‎3️⃣ Baby Mode Activated 👶🏾🍼

‎Think about this.
A fully grown man, well-build with beard saying “goo-goo-ga-ga.” People clap 👏👏👏👏👏, then dollars ends up into his account 🤑

‎Me and you?

‎We’re on social media, trying to look mature online —2 likes, one from cousin.

‎4️⃣ Nyash & Boobs Economy 🍑👙

‎No storyline. No plot. Just shaking nyash.

‎And algorithm says, “Yes Queen!”

‎Meanwhile, your business proposal has 50 pages. Zero likes 🤗

‎5️⃣ Sleeping & Eating ASMR 😴🍔

‎Someone is literally chewing rice online. Another one is snoring on livestream.

‎You watch. You laugh. You say “madness!”

‎They get paid.

‎6️⃣ Keyboard Warriors 🥊💻

‎Imagine even arguments in comment sections is money too.

‎You’ve possibly met a clip about heated exchange between commenters.

And guess what? The one who recorded it makes money.

‎7️⃣ Unboxing Tissue & Toothpaste 📦🧻

‎“Today I’m unboxing Colgate.” And somehow it has 2M views.

‎Me? I unwrap my ugali flour in silence. Nobody cares about what they didn’t see.

‎8️⃣ Tears for Likes 😢🎶

‎Play emotional. Cry small. Add sad piano music.

‎Before you know it, viewers will be donating.

‎While your favorite celebrity, somehow, celebrates heartbreaks,

Because they know it’s money.

‎You are nursing it in private. After all, you’re mature 😬😬😬.

‎9️⃣  Doing Nothing 🪑😐

‎Then, there are masters of doing nothing.

‎They sit. They blink. Millions are glued.

‎One night, I came across a video online. One guy slept live. Viewers paying just to wake him up.

‎That same night, I sleep for free till morning 😝😝😝😝😝

‎Lets wind this up 💡

‎If nonsense is paying school fees…your idea is not stupid.

‎Post it. Push it. Package it.

‎Because here online, it’s not about sense. It’s about confidence + consistency. 😂💯

‎Call me Denish Aloo.

‎I love corporate talk.